The thing is, it's illegal to buy it in the US (and most other civilized countries), but the UK has not deemed it a threat for more than a hundred years. My trip to Vancouver was a perfect opportunity to give it a try. The fact that it was semi-illegal, possibly dangerous, and perhaps even poisonous made it all the more appealing to my friend Kat and me.

By sheer luck (or fate) the first bar we visited in Vancouver had it for sale. We had no idea about the ritual... the sugar cube, slotted spoon, and water. We ordered it by the shot, toasted each other, and then paused to wonder if it would make us crazy. Then we slammed it down. It was Hill's absinthe, and the combination of flavors -- mouthwash-like mint, grain alcohol, and impurities -- burnt all the way down. The fact that it tasted surprisingly close to my idea of poison actually comforted me. We did two more shots and waited for the effects.

After about an hour, we walked out onto the street and I experienced a noticeable sharpening of my visual senses. Colors brightened and everything was in sharp focus. Unlike most brushes with the drink, I was mentally clear and not verbally impaired. We were highly amused when we visited another bar down the street, asked for a shot of absinthe, and were refused.

"We don't have it." said the smartass bartender. "And we also don't serve HEROIN." Apparently the news that absinthe is and always has been legal in Canada hadn't yet made it to him.

The next day, we went to brunch and reflected on our experience. It wasn't the mind-shattering thing we had expected. There weren't any hallucinations, no visions of the Green Fairy, and neither of us had burst forth with unprovoked poetry. We were mildly disappointed... and then we noticed that the restaurant had absinthe available on the beverage menu. We decided to give it another chance.

Our waiter obliged us with what he knew about Czech absinthe (Hill's again) and the ritual. He told us it was customary to introduce fire to the sugar cube before pouring water over it. This appealed to us a great deal. It made it even more dangerous, and it sounded a lot more spectacular than doing as a shot. I imagined it being something like a cross between Bananas Foster and a gasoline fire.

Unfortunately, when the waiter returned with our drinks, we saw no flame. But as I brought my glass to my lips, my hand and lips recoiled from the heat. There was an invisible flame burning on my tumbler, and it had all but taken off my eyebrows. We knocked back several glasses of this version and noticed that the toasted sugar gave it an even MORE poisonous taste. At the time, we thought that was good.

About an hour later, the colors got brighter and I began to develop an evil laugh. After Kat told me a funny story, the laugh leapt out of my throat and startled both of us because it didn't even sound like me. This made us laugh even MORE. We walked down the street and found a liquor store with absinthe for sale, and I bought my first bottle of it. By the time I left Canada two days later, it was drained. Kat and the other friends who eventually joined us said that my behavior actually scared them later that night. Hmmmmm.

After returning to the states, I had a hell of a time getting my hands on another bottle. Luckily, you can find almost anything for sale on the Internet, and eventually, I bought several bottles... before doing any research. Unwisely, I bought three bottles of the cheaper Czech brands of absinthe. They remind me of barbicide... the stuff that barbers soak their combs in, and they're so bitter that I can't imagine anyone choking down more than a glass at a time.

After reading a few reviews, I stumbled upon La Fee and Mari Mayans. Both of these brands are so easy to drink, you don't even need to bother with the sugar-cube ritual. They actually 'louche' (turn pale when introduced to water), and they have relatively high thujone levels (the THC-like active ingredient in the wormwood... the stuff that's supposed to affect your mind).

But a year or so later, I found out about the Holy Grail of absinthes... La Bleue... a clear absinthe actually made from where absinthe first started, in Switzerland. La Bleue also needs no sugar, and when it louches, it actually turns a beautiful opalescent, milky blue. Its thujone level is higher than any I've seen, and when I drank a glass of it on an empty stomach, its effects hit me immediately. As I watched my television, the screen suddenly developed a depth, something like the large screen in a movie theater. It almost felt multi-dimensional.

I've all but replaced my alcohol vices with absinthe now. Why drink anything else? It can sharpen your mind, wit, and words, and it opens the word horde at times. If I'm stumped with any kind of idea, I go to the green muse to unlock my thoughts.

But it's a noble drink that demands respect. Like a force of nature, the moment you forget its power is the moment it reminds you of it. I've seen too many people get fooled by the fact that -- after 4-5 glasses of the stuff -- you might not feel the usual stuporous effects you'd expect from most alcohols. You might not even feel drunk at first. But you have to realize you're drinking something that's almost twice as potent as vodka with the added bonus of a mild hallucinogenic ingredient. By the time absinthe makes you feel drunk, it's way too late. It's time to find a place to puke and get a good grip on the floor.

But that's not the way to do things, unless you want to wind up like half the French population during the Belle Epoch. Drink it to open your mind and widen your thoughts... and leave the recreational alcohol to the fools.